
Realizing it's OK not being a winner in the 'skinny-gene lotto'


I've always been a bit jealous of my husband. His jeans are something I covet - well, not so much the jeans themselves, but their size. He's got a 34-inch waist ... something I haven't had since the ninth grade.
Really, it's not so much about wanting the jeans as it is about wanting the genes.
His weight is not really because of his diet or exercise ... it's really just a fluke of nature. Unlike his betrothed, he's got great DNA on his side.
He comes from good weight stock. My father-in-law is tall and, up until his later years, was always quite thin. All of my husband's six siblings are pretty svelte ... not a tubby one in the bunch.
Every sibling seems to have been blessed with very high metabolic rates.
One of my sisters-in-law will tell you it's a curse ... and I know there are downsides to a person's inability to gain weight ... but I can't help but feel jealous. To me, it feels like they all ended up winners in the 'skinny-gene lotto.'
Genes, sadly, are not on my side.
For the longest time, I was unsure about my genes.
In my family, a lot of times I felt like the Sesame Street song, One of These Things (Is Not Like The Others).
I was the adopted child - they brought me home and then two-and-a-half years later had my brother naturally.
I have olive skin while everyone else in my family has ivory skin and freckles. My mom and brother are redheads - I have thick, black hair.
Both parents had larger noses; I have a little wee one.
And everyone but me was very thin ... they had 'skinny genes.' Me, not so much.
I was jealous of them, too. I still am.
So many times I look at the struggle I've had with weight and then look at my husband, or my parents and brother and think, "Why not me?"
My metabolism is slow, I have very little willpower when it comes to food. I am addicted.
Sadly, I still feel like I sometimes don't belong in this family. Not when you look at the weight of everyone around me.
In the spring of 2006, my mother and I ventured west to meet my birth mother and her family. She lives in Manitoba. I had to attend a conference in Calgary and I called my mom and asked if she was game for an adventure. On the way back from the conference, we overnighted in Winnipeg, and finally met the woman who gave me half of my genes.
It was scary and thrilling all at the same time.
I had found my birth mom 10 years before. We had connected after I spent nearly eight years searching. It was an exhausting journey, mostly because I was given very little information.
In Nova Scotia, where I was adopted, records are sealed unless you've opted for an 'open adoption.'
In my case, my adoption (we found out later) was illegal. But that's a story for another day ... or a novel!
I had seen pictures of my mom ... and knew I had her colouring, but from the few snaps that were sent to me, I didn't see that much resemblance ... until she walked through my hotel-room door.
I look at her and know exactly where all of my physical traits come from. I can finally trace my genes.
I pretty much know what I'll look like in 19 years. She has the same exact face as I do ... rounded, with high cheekbones and olive skin. We have the same eyes, and she's an inch or two shorter than I am.
We have the same body shape ... big-boned, with weight distributed well to all areas.
And while she's big, I wouldn't call her obese. My birth mother is slightly overweight, but that weight has crept on more in her later years. She and her husband own a hobby farm and she quilts. She loves her family, and is very outgoing, and get this ... she's also very talkative! Like that was a shocker ...
And while the meeting answered a lot of questions for me, it also made me feel better about me not winning what I consider the 'skinny-gene lotto.'
Sure, I may not have a biological family that is thin, but I do have hearty genes. Many of my older family members have lived to ripe old ages.
My birth mom, while she deals with severe arthritis in her hands, handles the pain well, and has learned to cope.
She's an optimist - just like me. She loves the outdoors, and finds the time for family despite being very busy with the farm and other outside interests - including the Aboriginal Friendship Center in her area.
The apple hasn't fallen far from the tree, despite being brought up four provinces away.
These genes, combined with the environmental influences I inherited from my parents - things like a great work ethic, organizational skills, and a fierce love and dedication to family - have made me the person I am today.
So despite my 'losses' in the 'skinny-gene' category, I've come up with all the right numbers in a lot of other 'categories' - and that makes me a winner on so many other levels.
It's something I have to keep reminding myself about every day that I step on the scale.
Theresa Blackburn is a wife, mother and New Brunswick Community College instructor who lives and diets in Woodstock. You can e-mail her at theresa@mybigfatlife.ca, or join her group, Big Fat Life, on Facebook.




More Live It!




Search Articles




