Coping with Christmas
Published Thursday November 27th, 2008
Feel like you've got too much to do? | Author suggests the key to a stress-free holiday season is all in the planning
There are exactly 28 days until Christmas Eve. If this makes you feel anxious, you're not alone.
There are some people who may have all of their decorating, shopping, wrapping and baking completed, but many others are only starting to think about the holidays and all of the additional time demands they bring.
The key to a stress-free season, says mother of four and author Kathy Buckworth, is good planning and organization. Her children are six, nine, 15 and 17. Life is a balancing act for her, as it is for most moms.
"Just when you think you have it all together that's when it all falls apart. Right?"
TV shows about perfect decorating, cooking and attire make women think somehow they have failed if they can't live up to these picture-perfect examples.
Throw in the holidays and you've got even more things to accomplish in an already time-crunched life.
"I think when the holidays come in on top of this, it ratchets up the stress level. While we are trying to organize all of that stuff, we have our real-life challenges like laundry, school lunches, groceries, homework and so on."
Every child has expectations of what the holidays mean. Many children hope for a visit from Santa. TV channels are filled with advertisements about this year's hottest, must-have toys.
Somehow all of that shopping and wrapping has to get done.
Last year Buckworth says she did 90 per cent of her holiday gift shopping online. It is a real time and sanity saver because you avoid heavy traffic, full parking lots and long cash register lineups, she says. Shopping this way also helps you avoid impulse shopping, she adds.
"The companies know you need it on time for Christmas. If you are dealing with a reputable company you will get it on time for Christmas."
Buckworth is the author of Journey To The Darkside: Supermom Goes Home. In it she talks about making the transition from corporate supermom to stay-at-home mom.
Buckworth spent 20-years in the world of corporate marketing. After her last maternity leave was over she didn't return to the corporate world. Instead she used her corporate planning and scheduling methods at home.
"Now I'm the queen of schedules and lists and it seems to work pretty well. It makes sure the important things are getting done and it makes you look at what's important."
Buckworth says being able to check off things on your to-do list gives you a sense of accomplishment. A lot of women feel guilty this time of year because they feel they are not accomplishing everything they should accomplish.
Never-ending laundry, for instance, is done on Mondays in the Buckworth home. Her children know if they don't get their laundry to her on time on Monday morning before they go to school, it isn't going to get done until the following Monday.
"That is an example of how I get back some control in this sort of uncontrollable environment."
Buckworth provides tricks and time-savers for those who are juggling daily living and the holiday season, too.
"Now is the perfect time to start planning because the calendar isn't as busy as it is going to be. My first thing is planning everything in advance."
Begin with what the essential, must-do things on your list. If you don't schedule these things something in your daily life will always be a priority. Pre-planning and doing things ahead of time will help avoid the last minute rush and stress, she says.
"If I don't put it on my calendar it won't go to the top of the list and it won't get done. Find the time to do the things now that can be done early."
She has three calendars which she uses to schedule everything from hockey practices to decorating and school concerts.
At this time of year you can easily have time conflicts and become double-booked. Buckworth says it sometimes becomes necessary to say no. If you always participate in a baking exchange but don't have time this year either opt out of it or buy what you will exchange, she suggests.
But if holiday baking is a must on your to-do list why not make it a fun family activity? The children can help bake Christmas cookies that can be exchanged with others or given as teachers' presents, she says.
Getting older children to help out with signing and addressing Christmas cards is a huge time-saver for you and fun for them.
Give yourself permission not to do everything and what you do manage to do doesn't have to be done perfectly, she says.
"Get it into your schedule. Make sure what's in your schedule needs to be there.
"But there are still going to be times when you are going nuts trying to get everything done."
Put non-essentials at the bottom of your to-do list. This way if they don't get done no one is going to suffer, she says.
If your schedule is too busy to get everything done on your own, she says, it may be possible to hire others to do the work for you. Housecleaning, gift wrapping, catering, and decorating can be done for you by professionals.
"Hire where you can. It's totally budget-driven but if you are totally going crazy and it is in your Christmas budget, it is totally worthwhile to get someone else to do that extra stuff.
"Getting some control back is what it's all about so we don't feel out of control and guilty."
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