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Pat Carlson
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Prime Minister Harper wants to get tough on crime.

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LIFE LESSONS: Columnist Pat Carlson believes some family problems involving child rearing could be solved by applying the rules of dog training to children. She cites dog training tips like setting household rules, reinforcing positive behaviour and making sure your dog has productive ways of burning off energy each day as easily applicable to kids.

President Obama wants parents to take responsibility for their children's future.

He also wants to offer incentives to youth to work in community and volunteer positions in order to gain credits for university dollars.

If I had to choose which approach might bring the best results, I would vote prevention any day.

I, like you, am gravely concerned about the violence in our world, the shootings in schools and gang wars. However, an old adage is an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Researchers have said the average amount of time spent with our children each day is 22 minutes.

Added to this is the amount of screen time in the life of a youth. Research is finding that video games demand instant responses. Instant responses come from a part of the brain past the judgment centre.

In layman's terms, judgment is not part of the reaction.

If our children are being brought up by screens instead of family, could this, then, be one of the reasons for poor judgment in so many areas of life?

A problem was brought to me some days ago. The parents were fraught with what they could do to get their children under control.

They had a dog and understood how much work it takes to train him.

So I suggested they read one of the experts on animal behavior and begin to apply those tips to the entire household. This is what we found.

Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer, has some training tips on his website. Could we, if we applied his training techniques, have better-behaved children and a better family environment?

Let's look at four of his suggestions. I included the word child in brackets for obvious reasons.

1. "Provide rules, boundaries, and limitations. In the wild, dogs claim space by asserting themselves in a calm and confident way, and by communicating ownership through clear body language and eye contact. Follow their example. Set household rules for your dog (child) - and stick to them!"

2. "Reinforce positive behaviors. Share affection when your dog (child) is in a relaxed, calm-submissive state, like after exercising and eating. You can also show your love when he has changed an unwanted behavior into a behavior you asked for, or responded to a rule or command."

3. "Only give affection at the right times. Remember that when you give affection or food you are reinforcing the behavior that preceded it. Don't give a dog (child) affection when he or she is displaying negative or unwanted behaviors, such as whining or acting aggressive(ly).

"If you are not already implementing these simple steps, start now! It may happen immediately or take time, but with patience and consistency, you will see results."

4. "Provide exercise. Your dog (child) needs a productive way to use his or her physical energy. Your dog's (child's) exercise schedule should include a daily walk - preferably two a day. I recommend that you go out for at least 30 minutes each time."

Remember, the average family time spent together is 22 minutes a day. How does that compare in your mind?

If we substituted child in all these techniques, we might be wonderfully surprised at the wholesome family experience we would develop.

Perhaps our schools would become safer and the future one step closer to something positive for all.

As for the getting tough on crime idea, without structure in the home, society, by its very nature as an extension of the home, will be lost.

Is the question to be soft on crime or tough on love?

Pat Carlson is an advocate for the disadvantaged. She writes every second Thursday and can be reached at changes@nb.aibn.com.