Sympathy notes are fine when a pet has died
Published Saturday October 11th, 2008
Q: I have always been a pet lover. My cats and dogs have always been important to me, but especially since my children all moved away and got married, and I am now a widow.
Knowing how important pets are to others as well, I wonder if you think it's acceptable these days to send a sympathy note to a friend when a pet dies. I have done so, but I don't want the gesture to be poorly received or misunderstood.
- I.C., via e-mail
A: How can any caring, thoughtful gesture ever be inappropriate? You are letting a friend know that you are thinking about her during a difficult time, and that's always appreciated.
You may not be aware that sympathy cards for pet lovers have been available for many years now. There are also longstanding programs that accept donations in the memory of a beloved pet.
Your local shelter or college of veterinary medicine will welcome such a gift and will send your friend a card of acknowledgment.
Pet-health research organizations such as the Winn Feline Foundation, Morris Animal Foundation or AKC Canine Health Foundation also make good use of donations.
Many people are helped by the idea of the "Rainbow Bridge," a place where our animals wait for us, and then we are together, forever.
The idea has become so popular that it's accepted practice among pet lovers to refer to a deceased pet as being "at the bridge."
If you are writing a sympathy note to a friend who has lost a dog, you might make note of the first use of "man's best friend," in a courtroom speech by George Graham Vest, who later became a U.S. senator:
"The one absolute, unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world - the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous - is his dog," said Vest in 1870.
Playwright Eugene O'Neill's lovely 1940 tribute to his Dalmatian Blemie, The Last Will and Testament of Silverdene Emblem O'Neill, is also perfect for sharing.
For cat lovers, I like to share quotations from the French writer Colette, a cat lover for the ages.
But no matter what you write or whether you make a donation in memory of a special pet, I will guarantee you that any kind note to a friend who has lost a pet would be very much appreciated.
- Gina Spadafori
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As a pet owner myself, I would be very touched to receive a sympathy card if my pet passed on. They are a member of the family and they should be acknowledged and remembered.