Finding a new dream
Published Saturday January 17th, 2009
It wasn't that long ago that Amber Bishop was living her dream, performing on stages around the world.
And when that dream didn't turn out to be quite what she expected, she shifted her focus and discovered a new dream, and a new life, that she never imagined.
On this day, she's enjoying a quiet moment at her home in downtown Fredericton, waiting for her seven-and-a-half-month-old daughter to wake up from a nap.
"Presently I work for District 17. This year, I'm teaching elementary music.
"I'm teaching K-5 and I'm teaching at four different elementary schools (in the Oromocto area)."
She hasn't started this job yet, as she's been on maternity leave since her daughter was born in May.
"It will be a new challenge. I'm more comfortable with the older kids, but younger kids are fun too."
Prior to her maternity leave, she was the enrichment mentor for District 17.
"Which was a lot of fun. It's a very different side of teaching. I didn't get to work with the kids as much and I really missed that aspect of it."
Though she has discovered a love of teaching, singing was her passion for a long time.
"I was a professional opera singer. My opera singing led me into musical theatre singing. I did professional opera, musical theatre, concert, stage recital, all that stuff for a long time. And then it got to a point where I wasn't loving it as much as I once did. It started becoming about paycheques. It lost all of its beauty for me," she remembers.
"I didn't ever want to get to the point where I hated the thing that I loved most in life. I just remember doing a show, it was a world premiere of Pélagie, which is this Canadian musical written by Allen Cole based on the novel (by Antonine Maillet), and I was standing on the stage at the National Arts Centre in Ottawa in the middle of the show and I remember just looking around and thinking, 'Wow, I need a change.'"
She knew she had to get into something else, she says, but she honestly had no clue what that might be.
"Philip Sexsmith, who has been a friend and a mentor and a father figure to me since I was a young girl, really started encouraging me to go into education."
Sexsmith is a teacher, she says, noting, "He is the teacher of all teachers."
At this time, 9-11 happened in the states, so she wasn't getting any work in the U.S., and then SARS hit Toronto.
"So all the theatres were closing in Toronto and you couldn't get work waiting tables, you couldn't get work temping. I remember going for quite a few months, without any work, nothing. It was a scary wake-up call."
She decided to apply to the education programs at the University of New Brunswick and St. Thomas University and see what happened. She was accepted into the one-year program at UNB, which she began in 2004.
"The next thing I know, I got a job before I got the diploma. Once that ball started rolling, serendipity took over. It happened nicely and easily and enjoyably."
And it led her to a different passion.
"I thought when I started teaching I was going to wake up one day and be really sad because I gave up what I thought was my dream.
"When you're young, you think that something is your dream and when you get in it, full feet, you're in it from head to toe, and you realize that it's not your dream, that's really confusing. It's been your identity for so long. Amber the singer. People will stop me in the grocery store."
It happened to her just the other day.
"So when you change it to Amber Bishop - teacher, it's just different. But I have to tell you, I love it. And I never would have been able to consider that I would have loved it. There is something nice about passing some secrets on, passing some stuff on, and seeing the kids excited about something."
Bishop performed from a young age and has wonderful memories of her time as a singer, much of which has been captured in an album.
"This is my little scrapbook. My grandmother kept all of this stuff, God love her, I never kept anything, so one day I put it all together in a book."
It covers her performances as a child, her time with Characters Incorporated and, later, at the Tanglewood Music Center.
She worked with many big names in the worlds of opera and musical theatre. Then there are photos and playbills from some of her professional performances, including her final performance at the National Arts Centre of Pélagie.
"I loved it, until I got to a point where I didn't," she says. "I've had a fantastic life, an opportunity to do a lot of stuff and see a lot of the world. I've sung all over Europe and the Middle East, I've sung all over North America."
It wasn't a matter of fulfilling all the aspects of her dream, she notes, as she dreamed of singing on stage at The Metropolitan Opera in New York City and La Scala in Milan, Italy, and those dreams didn't happen.
"In the end, those were my big dreams, but now that I've left the career and had some time for it to settle, I can honestly tell you from my heart that it's OK that I didn't do those things."
Bishop truly feels she made the right decision, especially as it led to a new career and a new love.
When she returned to Fredericton, she says she didn't really know anybody so a friend suggested she try Internet dating.
"He said, 'You'll meet people, it will get you out of the house.' So I did it and laughed the whole time, thinking this is completely crazy, because at the time it wasn't what it is now."
She met Dean Hare online, they went out a couple of times and hit it off.
"We're engaged - who knows when we'll ever get married. Who knows when we'll have time?"
What set Hare apart, she says, is that he was the first person she dated who was as strong as she was. They're a good match.
"He's been very supportive. He's an involved guy."
They talk about what's going on in one another's lives and he's always helpful when she has shows with the kids she teaches.
"And if I have a show, he's always excited to come see me sing. He's the one who keeps telling me I should still go perform."
Their family expanded on May 16 with the arrival of their daughter, Lillian. Her arrival has changed everything.
"I was so sick when I was pregnant. I was so sick from day one until this baby arrived, ... so I was very grateful when she arrived and the sickness passed. (Since then) it's just been joy and love."
You just don't know until you do it, she says. "The best thing is, you can't explain the love. You don't know love, this crazy love - it's a whole different love."
While Bishop knows she's brought her daughter into a much different world than the one she grew up in, she tries not to get overwhelmed by that.
"I lived in Marysville and we went out and played in the woods all day," she says. "It makes me sad to think that I live downtown between two fantastic parks, Wilmot and Queen Square, and Lily will never be there without me. That makes me sad, but it's important not to dwell on that stuff."
You just need to live your life and not get wrapped up in worrying about how you're going to protect her.
"It's a lesson in hoping and trusting," she says.
"She has a lot of family around her here. My family is so large. Just not my relatives, but my lovely circle of supportive and loving friends."
The nice thing about being a teacher is that you know a lot of other teachers, she says, and they are by nature a nurturing group.
"I feel that she's getting a good start - so many people love her already."
Bishop loved growing up in Fredericton.
"It was big enough so that you could do things but not so big that you'd get lost," she says. "Now that I've returned as an adult, I feel the very same way. I love going to the store and seeing someone I know. It's a small-town feeling."
She runs into old friends, yet the city is big enough that she still has the opportunity to make new ones.
"Now that we have (Lily), I'm really glad that we're here," she says. "There is no place like home - and it's great to come back."
Though singing is no longer her career, she enjoys sharing her knowledge of music with others. One way she does so is as the director of the Fredericton Youth Choir.
"The choir is great. They're such a cute group of girls."
She also helps others with singing on a one-on-one basis.
"I have a music studio upstairs. I have a few private students that keep me busy and I love teaching them."
She's also learning to play the guitar. "Don't expect anything great. My goal is to be able to play for my kindergarten kids," she says, laughing as she adds, "And they'll probably be a really tough audience."
In her limited spare time, Bishop is doing Pilates. As well, she's a member of a book club.
"I love my book club. (It's with) six very wonderful women and we get together once a month."
Thinking about all she's juggling, she says, "I'm not sure how I'm going to balance it when I go back (to work.)"
What is truly important right now, though, is learning how to be a good mom.
"I'm just so grateful right now. I'm just at a point in life where everything feels good. I have wonderful friends, and my parents are around and healthy and young enough to participate in Lily's upbringing, and my brother is expecting a baby any day."
Right now, she says, she couldn't ask for anything more.
And while she admires women who stay home with their children, she knows that isn't the path for her.
"I know I'll be a better mom for going to work because I really love what I do."
Bishop admits she's honest to a fault - which isn't always appreciated. She's also fun, outgoing and sincere.
"I've never been able to be anything other than what I am. What you see is what you get."
When it comes to others, she's learned not to judge too quickly, no matter what is going on in the moment - though that can be hard when you're in the middle of someone elses unhappiness.
"There is always a reason," says Bishop. "There is always a story."
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